A Quick Hello

Hello.

Make It Fun

This one’s for all the writers out there. A tip that’s obvious in retrospect: when you sit down to write, in order to maximize your motivation, try to make it as fun as possible.

Some of you are now shaking your heads, because all you need is willpower. And now we are shaking our heads at you, because willpower isn’t infinite, you silly fucks! Inevitably you’re going to need something else to fall back on, and that something is going to need to be enticing, because otherwise it’s not going to work.¹

As for what constitutes ‘fun,’ we’ll leave that as an exercise to the reader to imagine. Just kidding, we have some suggestions. We wouldn’t leave you high and dry.²

Might we suggest:

• Eating delicious treats as a reward?

• Lighting a candle or whatever frou frou thing gives your nose joy?³

• Fondling a rock when you take a break?⁴

• Writing in a cool font?

• Listening to something on mynoise.net, a website that positively slaps?

While we’re at it, why not write The Project? You know, that project, the one you’re waiting to be more skilled to write? Or if that’s too daunting (we understand), something else that tickles your fancy.

Go commit some word crimes!⁵

¹ On the other hand, you might be motivated entirely by spite. In which case, we salute you! We sure do a lot of saluting around here. 🤔

² We would absolutely leave you high and dry. If we felt like it.

³ Don’t light things not meant to be combusted on fire. (Unless you want to watch the world burn. You do you.)

⁴ Yes, we said fondling. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We don’t know why, either.

⁵ Be gay do crimes. And we guess the hets can join in, too.

That’s Strange…

Wasn’t the intern writing this named a different name? Why, we have no idea what you’re talking about. Our interns have always been Ember and Alice Wade.⁶

⁶ Zosian Tales: Shamelessly gaslighting you since August 14, 2023.

Here’s a Quote From Bluenews Because We Didn’t Know What Else To Put Here

So please tell us, Anonymous Benefactor: why in the world did you dump three pounds of hunger spice into the local tributary?

I did it on account of Starfire is the actual devil, and you can quote me on that.

Yes, we were planning on doing so, but thank you for your consent.

That’s A Wrap

Tune in next time, where we talk about something. Probably. We probably won’t do the whole thing in pictures. That would be asinine.